Wednesday, 12 October 2016
Empty chair and an aching heart...
I woke up this morning after a bad night sleep to what I thought was the hum of the nebuliser down stairs....
Had I slept in? Was Hubby getting Heni ready for the day ahead? Then Boom... reality suddenly hit me with full force, and I was reminded of the past few days ....my heart heavy and aching with the thought that this would never be so again.
On Tuesday morning, after 21 years, two months and 23 days with us here....our angel Heni gained her wings while she was sleeping peacefully. Her time with us on earth was up .... It was the perfect ending to her perfect little life. She was born at home, she lived and loved at home surrounded by those who loved her.....and she died here in her own cosy bed.
She had been ill with the usual autumnal coughs and colds for a week or so and had been having desaturation episodes where her oxygen levels would plummet....it was nothing we hadn't experienced many many times before... but his time heaven and her knew that it was time for her to go home..... time to move on to greater things.
We thought that she was turning a corner on the upward path, as the day prior to her passing she had been brighter and seemed like the worst was over.... and in a strange way for her it was..... she had fought the good fight... kept the faith, fulfilled the challenge of living in her body and could now return home with a full assurance that her work here on earth was done.
The hum of the nebuliser.... the whizz of the oxygen concentrator..... the sound of the blender whizzing up her food....are all gone now.... no longer a part of her or our lives. Her empty chair (S) (now left behind), no longer needed to shape, support and maneuver her around are all standing as testaments that she is now free, void of all constraints, frailty and weakness.....and has gone ahead as a glorious, perfect spirit awaiting the time that she can put on immortality and attain her reward of eternal life.
She has touched so many peoples hearts in her earthly sojourn and we are so thankful for the unconditional love she has brought in to all of our lives and the lessons that she has taught us. We are grateful that her beautiful spirit has graced our home and now the heavens will be graced and blessed by her return.....I so look forward to the day when we will see her perfected self and be with her once more.
This morning, when I awoke and my heart mourned, I was strangely consoled by my Facebook feed which brought up a picture of memories from seven years ago. Here, Heni was sitting at the very centre of our family surrounded by us all loving her.... and her loving us back. My heart rejoiced to know that although her chair is empty, our hearts can be filled with that love that transcends time and space.
She blessed our lives immeasurably and we can only mourn her loss with this love and console our aching heart with the thought that she has moved on to newer adventures being reassured that we WILL be with her again.
Until that time, Instead of asking why she left, we now need to ask ourselves what beauty she would like us to create in the space she no longer occupies.....
I believe that is a challenge she would like us all to take........ until we meet again.
If you would like to know more about Heni you can read
Heni's story part 1 here
Heni's story part 2 here
Heni's story part 3 here
Heni's story part 4 here
Heni's 21st here