Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Empty chair and an aching heart...

 I woke up this morning after a bad night sleep to what I thought was the hum of the nebuliser down stairs.... 
Had I slept in?  Was Hubby getting Heni ready for the day ahead? Then Boom... reality suddenly hit me with full force, and I was reminded of the past few days heart heavy and aching with the thought that this would never be so again.

On Tuesday morning, after 21 years, two months and 23 days with us here....our angel Heni gained her wings while she was sleeping peacefully. Her time with us on earth was up ....  It was the perfect ending to her perfect little life. She was born at home, she lived and loved at home surrounded by those who  loved her.....and she died here in her own cosy bed.

She had been ill with the usual autumnal coughs and colds for a week or so and had been having desaturation episodes where her oxygen levels would was nothing we hadn't experienced many many times before... but his time heaven and her knew that it was time for her to go  home..... time to move on  to greater things. 
 We thought that she was turning a corner on the upward path, as the day prior to her passing she had been brighter and seemed like the worst was over.... and in a strange way for her it was..... she had fought the good fight... kept the faith, fulfilled the challenge of living in her body and could  now return home with a full assurance that her work here on earth was done.

The hum of the nebuliser.... the whizz of the oxygen concentrator..... the sound of the blender whizzing up her food....are all gone now.... no longer a part of her or our lives. Her empty chair (S) (now left behind), no longer needed to shape, support and maneuver her around are all standing as  testaments that she is now free, void of all constraints,  frailty and weakness.....and has gone ahead as a glorious, perfect spirit awaiting the time that she can put on immortality and attain her reward of eternal life.

 She has touched so many peoples hearts in her earthly sojourn and we are so thankful for the unconditional love she has brought in to all of our lives and the lessons that she has taught us. We are grateful that her beautiful spirit has graced our home and now the heavens will be graced  and blessed by her return.....I so look forward to the day when we will see her perfected self and be with her once more.   
This morning, when I awoke and my heart mourned, I was strangely consoled by my Facebook feed which brought up a picture of memories from seven years ago. Here, Heni was sitting at the very centre of our family surrounded by us all loving her.... and her loving us back. My heart rejoiced to know that although her chair is empty,  our hearts can be filled with that love that transcends time and space. 

She blessed our lives immeasurably and we can only mourn her loss with this love and console our aching heart with the thought that she has moved on to newer adventures being reassured that we WILL be with her again. 

Until that time, Instead of asking why she left, we now need to ask ourselves what beauty  she would like us to create in the space she no longer occupies.....

  I believe that is a challenge she would like us all to take........ until we meet again. 


If you would like to know more about Heni you can read
Heni's story part 1 here
Heni's story part 2 here
Heni's story part 3 here
Heni's story part 4 here
Heni's 21st here


  1. Heni blessed my life and my family. I feel honoured to have met her all this time, and unfortunately I don't have the right words that could console your aching heart. May God bless you with peace and comfort your heart until you see her again. I will always have this bit of my heart that smiles whenever I think of Heni. xx Adilia

  2. Oh I am so sorry for your loss. May you and your family be comforted during this hard time with God's love and the strength to make it through each new day. I love the quote you put up by Rudy Francisco. I think that quote and Heni's story will end up sticking with my for awhile. (coming over as your neighbor in Holley's linkup)

  3. So sorry for your loss, but what a great perspective you have on her life and passing. Blessings to you in the days ahead. Let God be your source of comfort and draw strength from your relationship with Him.
    "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." 1 Cor 13:!2

  4. Simply beautiful Jade. I woke to a silent house as everyone sleeps, My first thought our much loved Bies, it was such a blessing to see you last year and meet Heni, we love you H xx

  5. Glorious and beautiful Jade. Thank you and God bless you all.

  6. Oh, Jade! My heart is aching for you. All this week I have been thinking of you so much. I kept telling myself I wanted to find your email address and check in with you because I hadn't heard from you in awhile. I so wish I would have acted upon those promptings. Sweet friend, I cannot imagine the weight of emotions you are under. What you have written here is such a beautiful tribute to sweet Heni. Her story. Her love. Your love. Your family's love. Will live on in the testimony of your lives as you share here and give hope.‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” -Revelation 21:14

    My heart is with you. My thoughts are with you. And I am and will be praying continuously for joy to once again fill your home.
    Much love,

  7. Jade, I'm so sorry. You precious love shared here in this space is such a testimony to God's grace. You continue to give Him glory. Praying that your family feels His embrace as you go through this difficult time. Blessings and love, Deb

  8. Jade, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Heni's journey through your telling has touched so many of our lives as you shared her joyful spirit, her daily struggles and her simple pleasures that reminded us all to stop and enjoy the moments we've been given. Her testimony will continue to minister as God makes a way to move forward in hope.

    Thanking God for the richness she added to your family and praying for a comfort and peace to reside in your hearts through the grieving. Please know you and your family are in my prayers Jade, now and in the coming months.

    Thank you for sharing your precious daughter with us and giving us a glimpse of God's heart for all of us. Sending comfort and love, Crystal~

  9. Although I've never met you or your family, and this is the first I've read of your blog, my heart aches for you. What grace and wisdom in your words in this time of unimaginable grief!

  10. What do you suppose she's doing in heaven?

  11. Oh my heart grieves for you. How sweet God gave you the courage to blog on this. My mother died in April and the nine days I was with her as slowly died I wrote like I had never wrote before. Amazing how grief can bring out of us wealth of knowledge, wisdom and understanding. Beautiful

  12. So so sorry to hear of your loss, there is nothing harder than losing a child. So glad that she was at home. Blessing for you and your family during this time of sadness. You will have many happy memories that will slowly replace the sad ones knowing that she has gained her wings and is with God.
    Be blessed, Karren

  13. Jade, I am so sorry for your loss, and the heart ache that is left instead of an occupied chair. Thank you for sharing your heart with us here at Tell me a Story.


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