Thursday, 30 June 2016

Caring.... and the E.U.




I has been just over a week since the historical result of the Referendum here in England..... and all week long I have been listening to radio shows (airing peoples opposing opinions) news programs, (reporting daily events) and people posting contending views all over Facebook. It seems that every person around the world has a view on this subject and has a judgement as to what is right or wrong, or what should or shouldn't have happened. 
Many people can't make sense of what just played out here and are either confused or angry as to why the majority of a country would vote to leave from a union of countries which was initially designed to bring economic and political stability to a large part of the western world. 
The media of course has also done its part in twisting,  hyping and stirring every conceivable arguement... warping opinion and making what is already a highly sensitive matter even more divisive and inflammatory.
 A small percentage of the people who voted "remain" are petitioning and rallying forces for a second referendum and even smaller number of the "leavers" have reared their ugly heads and have exhibited appalling racist behaviour in and around Britain.  Many people in Europe are feeling let down by the decision to leave the E.U and are angry at Britain for making such a choice. 
I'm no politician... but when I take in to consideration everything I have heard and seen throughout the months previous to the referendum, and since, I would like to offer an alternative way of perhaps explaining or thinking about it to those of you who are still reeling in the wake and wondering why the majority of the populous decided to vote leave.





Bear with me.....

 Maybe you can imagine for a moment an alternative E.U...
This union comprises of the whole of North, Central and South America... the A.C.U 
(American Continent Union!!) and consists of all the countries they contain. You have three countries that are perhaps a little more influential (United States, Brazil, Canada) and they provide leadership and financial support to the rest.....oh, and its all regulated and governed out of Panama where union headquarters are housed.
You have all of these Cultures, traditions and languages and the idea is for everyone to have a trading agreements and quota system,  common currency (managed by a single and Independent central bank) and all member states would have to align their national laws and rules governing their national central banks and monetary issues. The smaller struggling economies being subsidized by the larger ones. Everyone within the union can travel, live, work and trade where ever they choose within the union.

Do you think that it would work? Do you think that everyone within those countries would feel  happy.... that everything was fair and equitable and that languages, cultures, heritages would  all be maintained and not lost?




So what does this have to do with caring?

Now let me make another analogy....
As a carer (to our daughter Heni.. see her story part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here & part 4 here) you tend to give a lot out willingly to help other people you care about. After all its the right decent thing to do and it seems like a good idea to help other people who are having difficulties, to help ease and lift burdens and to apply love, charity and service.
I have however noticed something over the 21 years of caring for our daughter that is common to the caring role. I have noticed that gradually your energies drain, you become more physically and emotionally depleted after coping so long with the level of service that this role requires. Along with this, comes a loss of identity, choice and personal empowerment and there very often comes a time when you reach a "breaking point" decision and something has to change.  You reach the point where some re-evaluation has to take place as to the level of output that you can realistically maintain... and that you are capable of giving. You still give out a lot (that doesn't stop) but it's perhaps no longer on the scale it once was... that level was unrealistic and down right dangerous....  and if continued, would be detrimental to both physical and emotional health.
 You realize that everyone is going to suffer if your energy keeps depleting and going down hill. There has to be a decision of self care, self preservation and self rejuvenation.... a time of building yourself back up, reinventing  yourself... to be able to cope with ongoing demands. 
Now All this doesn't mean that you love the person you are caring for any less than you did, it also doesn't mean you no longer want to give help when they need it.... it just means you have to be a little wiser as to how you do things.  In doing so you hope that others will respect the fact that you need help, you need time to rebuild, time to figure out who you are again and you need to take on less of the load of caring..... perhaps only for a season....perhaps longer... so you can give out in a more appropriate sustainable way. 

Maybe some people (because of you transferring some of the load on to them) will think that you are lazy.... they may think that you are opting out or don't care any more? Perhaps some people would get angry that you are not around so much to help out in the same way? They may even think that you are rather selfish.

It would make you feel very sad.... but your decision would  have to be based on current need and not on others opinions. You would hope that others would be understanding of those needs, be caring, willing to help however they can,  step up and help you and bear you no grudge.



What then has this got to do with the E.U?

 A lot of people voted with an end result in mind... but perhaps as many people voted ... not for what they wanted (a particular party or leader etc)... but rather for what they wanted to avoid.... namely  burnout, lack of empowerment,  and loss of identity.
I hope that you will bear in mind the two analogies above and come to your own ideas and conclusions (as we all have that right) but I believe that it all boils down to the fact that Great Britain needs a little bit of time....there is a time to give out and there is a time to replenish and rebuild. Britain needs time to figure out who it has become, and to rebuild it's identity of who it would rather be.... to reinvent itself,  replenish and restore energy and resources..... and get some respite!
Sometimes you just know that you can't just keep going with things as they currently are and something needs to change. I believe that Great Britain has a huge heart, it has always been generous in lifting others burdens, providing charity and helping those less fortunate when ever they needed it.... I believe it will continue to do so... it will still love it's neighbours, welcome brothers and sisters of other nations.... and always care.
  
There are more important things than money and trading agreements and Great Britain just exhibited one of them... it became even greater when it recognized and made a very difficult and courageous decision. That decision was to take a leap of faith and instigate an act of self care, self preservation and self rejuvenation. It was a decision to take time to build itself back up, reinvent itself, become empowered again and I also believe that it did it all, eventually...... for the greater good.   
In a week where we have seen a Prime Minister Resign, an opposition party fall apart, stock markets take a tumble and Boris Johnson go AWOL ....and then.... England suffer its worst humiliation yet...... against Iceland (football!)........ I would hope that the onlookers to the referendum will feel a little more compassionate, helpful and have understanding hearts of our choices and predicament...... AND allow us the time we need ...while we go figure it all out!


Jx

32 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Wow. Thank you Jade.
    I was just "floored" (you know...vertigo that comes from a new, unexpected vision) and uplifted by your comments. From training and experience I have a fairly well-developed "BS Meter,” and the needle on my meter was quivering madly all this past week as I read news and comments. However, I couldn't quite figure out what all the quivering meant -- not at all unusual for me, in spite of my faithful meter. I've been aware of the roles being played by the usual baloney suspects, the media in particular, at stirring the pot and obfuscating more balanced views. But I haven’t quite known what to think other than that my friends the British will weather all this in typically British fashion and come through admirably well.
    Then I read your blog post, and John Fife’s comment regarding the same on your FB page. Yours is a wonderfully thoughtful, balanced, and reasonable take on affairs that finally sheds the appropriate light for me to understand what I have been feeling. What’s more, your comments authenticate the fact of how wisdom arises out of a life lived with love and service.
    I have one political comment to add regarding your observation about the media “warping opinion and making what is already a highly sensitive matter even more divisive and inflammatory.” In 1996, I learned from personal observation in Bosnia that divisive and inflammatory strategy, tactics and actions are some of the greatest threats to the modern, civilized, industrialized world (“modern, civilized, industrialized world” meaning: ourselves). Therefore I have ever since studiously tried to adopt balanced and centrist views to spite or at least temper my natural “right wing” instincts. And thus I am so grateful for your wise words and view point. Being able and willing to seek some kind of balanced understanding or at least acknowledging some reasonableness in one’s “adversary” appears to be more and more mistakenly regarded in our world as a sign of weakness. And nowhere does that attitude get shouted more forcefully than in most of our media channels. It appears they are convinced that the rightness of their cause demands no compromise. Of course, this looks exactly to me to the way the extremes of the Democratic Left and the Republican Right in American politics can admit no middle ground. And, of course, that is a sad state of affairs for the U.S. and the world.
    Lastly, I must say that the section of comments in your blog post about caring for Heni struck home with particular force for me. Thank you for honestly sharing your insight and feelings. That is quite helpful to me as I’ve been struggling with serious health issues for years, but in the fall of 2014 the bottom just kind of fell out. Still seeking answers, but getting closer. I won’t bore you with the details. I would just say that reading your description of the thoughts you’ve wrestled with as you struggle to know just how much or how far to push yourself – and even harder, much harder I’ve found, just what to do about self-care, self-preservation and self-rejuvenation when I’ve been so accustomed to pushing foolishly forward on “mind over matter” thinking – has given me some insight and courage I didn’t have before. God bless you for that, and for all you do. Love and kisses to Heni, hello to Tom, and hugs to all of you.

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    1. Hi Jon
      so great to heAr from you
      I'm grateful for your comments and hope that your self care will move on to a new level! It's hard to not feel guilt sometimes when taking time for yourself as it impacts a lot on people around you ... But like I said in the post you sometimes need to take decisions based on current need and not run faster than you can walk... Or like me...care about what others think. I still find it hard at times when I have to step back and let others shoulder the load ,but necessity wins out. Like everything it's a learning process. I would be happy to be " bored " with the details and if there is any way I can help by pointing you to the appropriate resources I would be happy to help. I'll pass on the kisses to Heni. X

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  3. Jade - such a great post especially for us from outside the country to read. I have a hard time with all the news networks throwing around their thoughts and onions if they are not walking in shoes daily that are affected by the decisions. I appreciate your take and your thoughts, and I am all about taking a leap of faith - taking a risk to work things out and figure them out - you made a very great point. I found you at #FreshMarketFriday today - thanks for stopping by my blog as well.

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    1. I'm glad you could stop by Debbie. I enjoyed your post too. It makes me crazy when I see all the hype everywhere and also people's fear ...hyped by the media of course. It will all work out and I'm sure we've been through worse. X

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  4. Joining you here from my blog at http://simplyflourishinghome.com/, and the other bloggers at Five Minute Friday.

    This is a very thought-provoking post. I like your analogy, and agree that we can only give out so much before we need to replenish, whatever that means. When we become stronger, we can in turn reach out and bless others!

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    1. Thanks for stoping in to contribute today. X

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  6. I'm really uninformed on this subject, but it seems to me you explained it well!

    Sometimes we do have to back off for the greater good.

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    1. Thank you. I guess I try to learn from my own situation and challenges and try to apply that to other situations. There were quite a few parallels for me on this one.

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  7. Hi Jade, visiting from FMF. I really enjoyed reading your post- very insightful and thought-provoking. I'm in Scotland and it is all a bit unsettling and confusing (partly because I was away last week when the result was announced and missed out on a lot of the discussions around it.) I think you're right, we need some time to figure it out and to come to some kind of unity despite the differences of opinion.

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    1. Hi Carly. It's a difficult situation but I'm sure it will all be resolved in due time. I hope that in the long run this time of reassessing and inner struggle will help us imerge stronger and more clear on our identity and purpose. Thanks for visiting.
      (I keep hoping to take a trip to Scotland one of these days ! )

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  8. Hi Jade, I happen to live in a British territory and so I'm sensitive to this topic. I remember waking up that morning to find that the world had 'turned upside down' with the decision to leave and the Prime Minister's decisions being the top 2 topics on the BBC news. It reminded me of how little control we sometimes have over the outcome and how much we need to depend on God. At least, that's my initial takeaway from a non-voter's perspective :-)
    I appreciate how you've given this issue another angle to get us all thinking. Thanks for sparking the discussion by making the connection to caring as well.
    Marva | sunSPARKLEshine

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    1. Yes I believe ultimately God is in control. He allows our freedom to chose but he already knows the outcome and we can know that we can indeed depend on Him.
      Glad you liked the analogies too

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  9. I love Great Britain and your heart for your people in this uncertain time. I appreciate your thoughts on the matter. Hoping and praying for your beautiful country. Visiting from FMF.

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    1. Yes we sure need prayers of wisdom and guidance!

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  10. I so appreciate you sharing your views, Jade! I've not known what to think of it all (and wondering how it will affect those of us in the U.S.), so hearing a firsthand view from someone who is there is valuable. Otherwise I only know what I hear in the news, and we know how inaccurate that is. :)

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    1. I'm sure it's going to be a process like most things and may hurt somewhat but I have faith that on the long run it will all work out.

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  11. Great post, Jade! Thanks for sharing! GOD bless you!

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  12. It's definitely a complicated issue...

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    1. Yup! As my Yorkshire mother would have said .... "It will all work out in the wash!"

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  13. Very nicely put, Jade. As a Brit who emigrated to Canada 20 years ago, I've been watching the goings-on back home with bated breath! I like your perspective :) Blessings to you— from your neighbour at #MomentsofHope

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    1. Makes me wonder what all the international press is like and what has been highlighted as issues?

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  14. As one who lives in the US, I appreciate you sharing your insight from the "inside". We both have MUCH to pray about in our respective places, for our country, our people, and the world. (Visiting from #LiveFreeThursday today.)

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    1. Yes we do....
      Divine guidance is much needed which ever way you look at it.

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  15. Feeling your pain, loving that quilt.
    Lisa @ https://hopewellslibraryoflife.wordpress.com/2016/07/07/fantasy-islandyou-are-invited-to-tea/

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    1. The quilt was made by my niece to auction off for charity for one of her friends. Very talented quilter!

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  16. Hi Jade,
    Thank you so much for sharing this brilliant analogy! My husband is a business man and involved in the world of the Stock Exchange so he has talked much about Britain's decision. And, as a Mom to a special needs child, I was able to look at this situation through your description. I get it! I am praying for your country, for ours, and the world in the midst of this! I sure am thankful we have a Savior who offers us His hope! Thank you for sharing at #MomentsofHope! I appreciate you!
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

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    1. Thank you so much Lori. It's always lovely to connect. I wish we lived closer.... I would love to ask you more about you and your life and exchange stories as " special needs moms" and in general. Hope you have a great week.

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  17. I loved reading your post and it made the situation there make more sense to me. Being in the U.S., I've followed the news of Britain's decision. I can see how you would want to be independent of the EU. I hope and pray that the transition there is smooth for everyone. Thank you so much for sharing your story at Together on Tuesdays :)

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    1. Hi Lisa. Thanks. I'm grateful to hear from Most people that I have spoke to about the post that they found it strangely calming and allayed their inner turmoil about events. I felt the urge to write this one the way I did and hoped people would see some of the parallels in it and indeed make a little more sense out of the whole thing x

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