A different kind of Christmas

I've just finished looking through a mountain of photographs of Christmas over the years..... and have been re-living  a life time of fun moments that we have shared together as a family with Heni. I am so grateful to have all of these memories.

This Christmas it's going to be different without her.... and we will be making new and different memories... and in that "different" kind of Christmas celebration I am looking for ways to honour and to remember her in our family festivities this year. 
One of the things I want to do, is for everyone to write a letter to Heni to put in her stocking...it's still hanging above the fire place...just like usual....
 In years ahead it will become a family history treasure to look back on and read about the things that we have done during the years. It will be a blessing to read of ways in which we have noticed Heni's influence and legacy in our lives.

I can't quite believe that its been two months since I last saw her beautiful smiley face and I can't help but think of her and imagine her reactions as I see the lights and the sparkles that are all around.
I am trying to see things anew.... with new eyes.... eyes that Heni would look through....to see the bright colours, the shiny baubles that reflect the light, to see the toys and the magic. 
Just the other day I had the urge to buy a pink fluffy flamingo because I knew she would  have loved it. Heni enjoyed all of the Christmas presents she would receive..........but more that that, she liked and "preferred" the gift of time and presence.... to be with you, love you and be fully present.

 So with that in mind, I am trying to see people as I think Heni would see them and I try to imagine in my minds eye the smile of joy that would cross her face when anyone would draw near. It was the gift of being "present" that she would bestow on everyone. 

Heni was a joyful soul.... but she didn't reserve her joy for Just this time of year though.... every day was like Christmas to Heni.... she had a smile that was like an excited child awaiting the fun and frivolities and present opening that lay ahead and she gave the gift of her full presence each and every day.  

Capturing joy seemed easy for Heni... if was a gift... a precious gift. One that I wish that I could have  in my stocking this year and switch on at any time and place...  no matter what. 
Joy seems to be counter clockwise to grief... but I am learning that even amid those waves of emotion and pain that lap up on the shore of life... I am noticing that there are still moments of joy and gratitude amid the ebb and flow of the tide.

I am looking forward to the family being together in a few days time..... and in that time,  hoping to practice the gift giving of being present like Heni always did. I am a novice compared to "H" but I am hoping to get a little better. 
I also have a goal to notice the moments of joy that arrive .... and in that, being thankful for Heni's legacy of love that she left behind for us to work and build upon. 

I hope that in your Christmas celebrations this year ... no matter what is going on in your life... you can look out for those joyous moments too.... and enjoy them no matter how fleeting.  Remember to give those you love a hug and tell them that you love them .... and why not give a little "presence" giving  too.... life is too short not to.

I  hope that you all have a wonderful Christmas..... and in your present and presence giving, AND joy noticing, I hope that you will also take time out to remember the reason for the season and look to the source of those gifts.

From me to you, and from my family to yours, I wish you the very best of times...
Have a very joy filled Christmas...

Much love

Jx