It's been a while!
I have to admit that I haven't felt much like writing
recently, as grief does interesting things to your priorities and to your brain! On the times I've wanted to write something, I haven't had the brain
power to sit and concentrate... or other things come higher up on the list of
current necessities and blogging gets put on the back burner. Then, there are days that you just have to go in to survival mode when you can only do the basics and the desire to blog is a far distant thought.
It's been a rough few months with many ups and downs... and
although the "ups" haven't been as up as I would like them to be.....
I have tried to be diligent and consistent in plodding ever forwards, learning
how to create a new, different life without Heni. It's often been a struggle along
the way to search out those moments of joy that I mentioned back in a post I wrote
just before Christmas .
Those moments of joy ARE there... they just take some searching for right now. It's a purposeful activity. One in which if you engage in, opens your eyes and broadens your view.
Those moments often arrive when
I've just finished looking through a mountain of photographs of Christmas over the years..... and have been re-living a life time of fun moments that we have shared together as a family with Heni. I am so grateful to have all of these memories.
This Christmas it's going to be different without her.... and we will be making new and different memories... and in that "different" kind of Christmas celebration I am looking for ways to honour and to remember her in our family festivities this year.
One of the things I want to do, is for everyone to write a letter to Heni to put in her stocking...it's still hanging above the fire place...just like usual....
In years ahead it will become a family history treasure to look back on and read about the things that we have done during the years. It will be a blessing to read of ways in which we have noticed Heni's influence and legacy in our lives.
It rained on quite a few of the days we were away on holiday... and on one of the mornings we braved the weather and walked along the beach in a thunderstorm (mad I know...tell hubby that!) and got soaked to the bone! Normally we don't let weather bother us, otherwise we would never do anything, but this was HEAVY stuff and so we made alternate plans for the afternoon and decided to spend it at the cinema.
I had seen the trailer for "Inside out" and it had made it onto my list of films that I wanted to go watch. Luckily the Kino cinema in Rye was running it and so we booked some tickets and braved the weather (a second time).... and hoped we wouldn't have to sit all soaking wet throughout the film!
Some of you may have seen the film, but for those of you who know nothing about it ...
It's about a little girl called Riley who lives in Minnesota...she loves her life and when she has to move to San Francisco with her family she struggles to adapt to the changes that her new life brings.
Her emotional control centre (in the depths of her mind).... is staffed by five key emotions (characters). "Joy" is normally in the driving seat but is now struggling to help Riley adjust and with fellow characters - Anger, Disgust, Fear and Sadness she tries to lead Riley through the difficult life changing events that are taking place. Joy had always taken pride that all Riley's core memories were "golden" and joyful ..... and she worked hard to keep Riley upbeat and happy....
